Surviving Wayne: April 2005

Ray of Hope... maybe.

Days off are wonderful. I had one today. Watched a few Star Wars flicks today, gave Phileo and Brandy baths, fixed dinner for the fam, and relaxed. Men's Camp is coming up and The Worship Team is playin'. I am excited about it. We are gonna do some sweet numbers like "Sweet Home Up In Heaven," the parody to Lynard Skynard's "Sweet Home Alabama."

Paula and I have both said we would love to do this (praise band) professionally. I think this group is talented enough to do it, but too many ties to other things would prevent such a thing. Also we would need a hefty chunk o'change to get started and none of us have such chunks.

It has been a good day overall. I can't help but to experience a little sadness thinking about going to work tomorrow. How is it that days off go by so fast, but days at work go by so slow? If anyone knows a remedy to that, please share it with me.

As I blog, the song "Broken" plays. That song is a major part of my life. It is like my testimony. I hear it and every time, God brings to light some new part to the idea of being broken. I said in my last blog that I thought I had learned what I needed to learn. Maybe not. Maybe that is why that song does what it does to me every time I hear it.

Another song that does that to me is "Word Of God Speak." Maybe there is something to that. Something about the Word of God telling me I need to be broken... hmmm. We wonder why God so often compares us to sheep... because sheep are somewhat... how can I put it... THICK IN THE HEAD!

Only one more thing to say tonight:

Y-E-S I-N-D-E-E-D!

Wayne @ 8:50 PM v Comments (0) v

Come and get your love?

I missed American Idol last night. We forgot to tape it. Hopefully I will get to see it. I left a voicemail with Christina to see if they recorded it. I asked them not to delete it...

Scott was NOT in the bottom three. In fact, they sent home a favorite tonight. Constantine is gone, baby! I saw the little snippets they show at the beginning of the show from last night's performances. I talk to so many people about AI and everyone has their opinions about how people did.

I talked about this a little last week. As Paula and I watched the snippets, we said things like, "So & So didn't do that bad" or "She did a fine job" or "That really was not as good as I expected." I have more I want to say about what people say, but I choose not to do so. I don't want to be rudely offensive for once.

Anyway... Paula had a terrible day. We met her parents for dinner. As she pulled the car alongside of me at the restaurant, I noticed she was sobbing. I got in the car with her and asked her what was wrong. "I have to find another job!" she cried. They basically told her that she is not consistent in her sales. If she doesn't become more consistent over the next 4 weeks, they will let her go.

You see, that is how some places are. Alltel just launched a campaign called "Come and Get Your Love." Isn't that ironic... don't you think. I really understand so much. I am not good at my job either. When you find something you don't do well, it really weighs on your emotions. You start to wonder if you are stupid or unteachable. You question your value and your experiences... your capabilities. It is hard.

This is my struggle too. When you don't feel good about yourself anyway and then someone tells you basically that you are not good enough, you just want to die. I guess Paula and I are a perfect match because we have the same insecurites.

There has been a prethora of prayer about this subject. Besides our personal prayer, we have had both friends and family fall on their knees on our behalf. Are we being punished? God... have we not learned our lesson?

Wayne @ 10:48 PM v Comments (0) v

Empty

I am empty. Nothin' to say. Thinkin' about a lot of things... not wanting to talk about it.

It is not sufficient to know what one ought to say, but one must also know how to say it.
–Aristotle

Wayne @ 4:09 PM v Comments (1) v

Fat or Phat?

American Idol rocks! Yet I have an issue with something. Those of you who know me, know that I am balding and fat (not into beating around the bush). I am all about seeing Scott Savol go all the way on my beloved FOX series. "Why?" you ask… because his image, his look is not what we would define as the "American Idol."

Simon Cowell is someone I used to have respect for, simply because of his intense honesty. I have grown to truly think that he is as shallow as he comes across. Let me foreshadow what I am going to say with what originally caught eye.

The Charlotte Observer ran a column about the show’s final twelve. Three critics gave their opinion about each finalist. These "critics" or "professionals" (none of which being professional musicians) were harsh regarding some of the Idols. They were really hard on Scott. I don’t have a doctorate in music or have a perfect ear, but I have had musical training. I have directed a choir or two in my day. I have conducted a few brass bands. I have also given voice lessons a few times when I was a freshman in college as a music education major. I think that I am pretty qualified to give an educated opinion about these performers.

Scott, along with many of the other Idols, has an amazing voice. I would define him as a very strong tenor with great tone and control. Savol, as I have stated, does not look the part. On an episode a few weeks ago, he sang a song and did superb. During the song, he took off his sunglasses and threw them aside and also his hat I believe. Both Randy Jackson and Paula Abdul were very pleased with the phenomenal performance. Simon, however, was not. He made the comment, "I was starting to get scared that if the song didn’t end soon enough."

Now, one shouldn’t assume, but Simon has not once said anything encouraging or positive to Scott. Simon doesn’t like him. I know what it’s like to not be chosen because of being fat or not the cutest. I know how it feels to not be accepted for not fitting into the mold.

Some people think that if you are fat that you are a slob and that you eat and that is all you do. Not true. Some will say that being fat or obese is bad stewardship of our bodies which are temples of the Holy Spirit. I can agree with that one. Those of us are fat, or thin challenged if I am to be politically correct, have those same concerns. I am fat, but I am not a slob. I don’t over eat. I just tend to keep weight on. I know the Word of God and know my responsibility when it comes to stewardship.

Understand that we do not want to be fat. We do not want to be looked at in disgust. It is not as easy as just losing weight or going on a diet. That is a myth that skinny people believe. It is probably 90% mental. Please don’t judge us or put us down… we do enough of that to ourselves already. Just remember that we are out there.

Scott may not look the part, but he is representing. We are talented. We are creative. We are not just fat… we are Phat!

Wayne @ 10:31 PM v Comments (1) v

Jelly Fish

Someone sent me this in an email. I thought everybody would like it being that so many of my friends and I are looking for new jobs. This is belly-aching funny. Enjoy!

~If you don't laugh out loud while you read this you are in a coma! Next time you have a bad day at work...think of this guy. Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.~

"Hi Sue,

Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. Iknow you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not So bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.

"What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.

"Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.

"So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt. Now repeat to yourself, ‘I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.’"

Wayne @ 7:49 AM v Comments (0) v

Street Names

Just for the sake of amusement, I gave all of my Homeslices a nickname. This is my worship team, my friends.

Me (Wayne) - Jiggy
Paula - Boo
Desmond - Lou
Kristy - Bubbles
Daniel - Big D
Christina - Cookie
Booth - Twinkie
Sarah - Jam
Tilden - T-Bone
Jason - Junior
Josh - Fuzz
Jonathan - Bam Bam
Johnny (Summertime Fill-in) - Pookie
Major Allison (Team Mascot) - Bubba

Nobody else probably thinks this is cool, but I am all over it like a pack of dogs on three-legged cat. Enjoy.... and hopefully laugh!

Wayne @ 11:34 PM v Comments (1) v

12th Commandment

Do you know what takes courage? What I am about to admit takes courage. Here goes.... I am afraid to die. There. I said it. Why does it take courage you ask? I am taught as a Christian that we.... I should not be afraid of death. Fear of death almost seams to mean lack of trust in God. I come to the point that I think that I don't agree with that. There are a lot of us out there... Christians that are afraid to die. We have been taught the unofficial twelth commandment that "Thou shalt not fear death. If thou fear-est it then thou-ist really aren't-eth a Christian." At least that is how I feel sometimes.

I don't question where my eternity shall be. I think that I am afraid of the unknown. Eternity is something that we cannot comprehend. We are designed as linear creatures. Everything in our understanding has a beginning and an end. Deep theological thought will teach that God is not past or future, but a constant present. We cannot comprehend that because even the thoughts we are thinking now are instantaneously becoming the past. Not to mention the thoughts we will have in the future.

I remember when I was in Jr High trying to visualize what it will be like when we are in eternity with God. I often thought that if I played a two on two basketball game with Michael Jordan (if we both get to spend eternity with God), who would win. If we were both perfect, the game could go on and on and on. I often wonder today if we will be like zombies or will we keep our personalities. Will we worship God as he designed us in our special differences or will be all the same? Those are questions that I ask. I have been through the Word and find very vague descriptions.

One thing is for sure... the Word tells us that it will be wonderful. Paula and I were talking about that last night. Because I am unsure of how it will be like, I am fearful. You know when you have a dream and while you are dreaming you think it is real, but then you wake up and realize that the dream was way far from reality? I wonder if it will be the same way when we are in the presence of God. Will it be that this reality as we know it now will be like the remnants of our dreams?

We'll see.... soon hopefully.

Wayne @ 11:19 PM v Comments (0) v

Your Will, Your Peace... please.

I, just like everyone else, am stressed. I have some things I want to write about, but don't have time. I royally LOATHE my job. I am struggling with the truth that God will not give me something new until I am content with where I am. That is hard to do when you are drawn down emotionally by your job. Your will, Your Peace!

Wayne @ 11:07 AM v Comments (0) v