Our Recent Story...
So here goes. Last week, Paula and I experienced something we wanted for so long to experience. We (actually just Paula, but we shared in it) took three home pregnancy tests. All three were positive. On Thursday, we started sharing our amazing news with our parents and a few very close friends. We had decided not to share it far and wide until we were able to get it confirmed by Paula’s doctor. We were extremely excited, but we desperately tried to not get too excited for fear that the tests were false.
We had a great Saturday. Sunday morning was great. We even had lunch with several corps members to lovingly send off a friend back to Canada.
On the way home from lunch, Paula felt a lot of pressure on her stomach. She said it felt as if she had a really full bladder. Upon arriving to our home, she went upstairs to our bedroom to empty her bladder. I let Phileo out to “potty,” then made my way upstairs to get out of my uniform.
Paula was lying down in our bed. I got into some sleep shorts and got into bed with her, assuming we would have a wonderful nap-filled afternoon. Paula had a nervous look on her face. She said that she didn’t have to go as much as she thought she did. She felt a lot of cramps and when she did go, there was some spotting.
She called the OBGYN’s on call line and they advised us to go to the emergency room. I will save you the hours of events that happened there. To make a long story short, they did a urine test, a blood test, and two different types of ultrasounds.
The urine test came back negative for a pregnancy. The blood test came back positive, but with a very low reading. The doctor said that it seems there may have been a “threatened abortion” or miscarriage, since there had been three positive home tests and now the low reading on the blood test. He also said there is a possibility it could have been an “ectopic pregnancy” (tubal pregnancy).
He told us we would need to follow up with Paula’s doctor on Tuesday to have another urine test and blood test to confirm which it was.
Our appointment was Tuesday at 9am. It was indeed a threatened abortion, which I think is a simply terrible name. There wasn’t a tubal, which we were happy about because that can be life threatening for Paula.
It was rough for Paula going to the doctor. We just didn’t put two and two together to prepare her for seeing pregnant women at her OBGYN. It is an obvious thing that we should have expected.
The doctor tells us that this was a fluke incident. It is actually common. There is no reason why we cannot have a normal, healthy pregnancy. Most likely, the pregnancy was abnormal and Paula’s body sensed that and therefore saw it as a threat and began the process to reject it, hence “threatened abortion.”
So now comes the grieving. It is somewhat odd to me. I know many of my friends have gone through this, but until you do, you don’t know how hard it is. I had no relationship with this child. I had never held him/her, nor have I seen his/her face. I only knew of his/her existence for a matter of days, but my heart broke as if I had known this child all my life. My boss told me something quite profound. She said that this child never knew sin. He/She was never tempted and never had to make choices that would separate them from the love of Jesus. That child stands absolutely beautiful, without sin in front of God’s throne today… and he/she is a product of Paula and me.
We are in no way angry with God. We know and hold firm to the fact that God knows exactly what He is doing and that His will is absolutely perfect. The blessing from this is that there is no question that we are able to get pregnant.
We do ask that when you are around us, that you act normal and not ask us about this or talk to us about it. Please don’t call us or email us asking about this. We are going through our grieving process and having to relive with everyone that asks or emails will delay getting through our grief. If we want to talk about, please let us bring it up.
Thank you all for your continued prayer for us. You don’t know how much that means to us.
We will survive.
Wayne
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7:12 AM
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