Dreaded Day
Yesterday was the day... the day I had long feared would come. Yesterday was the day that is much worse than finding out that you have to have all your teeth pulled. It is more disturbing than to find out your neighber has been secretly peeping in your windows. It is more painful than a terrible, terrible sunburn. Even to talk about it makes me cringe with nausea.
Yesterday... I had to go to the DMV and get my drivers license renewed! AAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!
I was there for like three hours. I royally hate, with excessive passion, going to the DMV. My initial first irritance is that all the signs on the wall were in English AND Spanish. There were even a few signs only in Spanish (I have an intense problem with this). I have this thing about people driving and not being able to read the words in English on the signs... it shouldn't be allowed. Anyway.
So I am in line and the line stops a few times because they can't check anymore in because there are not enough seats for people to sit in. What makes this process go even slower is the fact that some people come in with their momma, daddy, and second cousin who all go sit in seats that are where those in line are supposed to go after checking in. Well the line, again, is stopping because those checking in don't have any where to sit because all the relatives of the guy at the end of the line have taken them.
In all, I stood waiting to get checked in for an hour. The seats are smack-dab side-by-side up against one another. The entire time I am in line, I scope out possible areas I want to sit in. Truth be known, I am a big guy. With or without being a tad on the fat side, I am still built with a large frame and I simply take up some space, if you know what I'm saying. Anyway, I am looking for a seat that is not in the corner, around stinky people, or other "space taking" people.
I get a seat between and elderly African-American woman and man a small framed Mexican-looking guy. The lady was very nice. We chatted and joked about the DMV. The Mexican guy had a black eye and honestly looked like he had gotten mugged right before coming to the DMV. I didn't speak to him, because honestly I doubted he spoke any English and he really seemed kinda wierd.
He got up and a skinny white guy sat down in his spot. He was kinda preppy. He asked me and the guy on the other side of the seat if he could "squeeze in between us." The other guy had a larger frame and we both were thrilled a smaller framed individual was sitting between us. This meant more room for us! The skinny guy said, "I am sure glad you guys speak my language." I was glad someone else cought on to what I had cuaght onto as soon as I walked in the door.
The skinny guy had to go get some money at an ATM because he realized that he forgot to bring cash or check. So some strange guy sat next to me. After the number before mine was called, the strange guy looked at my number and said, "Man, it would be terrible if the electricity went off now." Ok so aside from being much closer to this guy than I would like to be, I discovered that he hadn't brushed his teeth since the 80's. His breath was so bad, the skin on my face felt like it was gonna peel off.
Anyway, I just smiled and gave a clever response.
Finally, heaven opened and a multitude of angels burst into song!! They had called my number. It felt like being on death row and all of a sudden, you had been pardoned.
I took my eye test, took my street sign test, posed for a picture that was sure to be non-flattering, and pay my $32 charge. I was out the door, three hours after I had entered into it.
I survived.
Wayne
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1:45 PM
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