Surviving Wayne: February 2005

Friends

Friends are precious parts of our life. The older I get, the more I realize that. I have always been one that values my friends, but as time passes that value seems to increase. There is sort of an allegiance, a bond, a connection. I have a feeling that God meant for those folks to be my friends.

In just talking with some of my friends, I find that just about every one of them has some sort of issue in their life, a thing that brings them heartache, spiritual exhaustion, and stress. Struggles ranging from personal issues and issues with family to physical problems and problems with employment. My heart breaks. From reading my blogs, you can see that I have my issues. Those grow dim when I encounter the struggles of a friend. When I was a Salvation Army officer, I would often say that I was a preacher by trade and a pastor by heart. My trade definitely has changed, but my heart hasn't.

In my humanness, I question God. "Why do they have to go through this?" I know the answer just as you do. God has reminded me that He allows me to struggle so that I will become reliant on Him. So for the same reason they struggle. Paula's dad said, in the midst of family disaster, that 1) God is always God, 2) God is always right, and 3) God never makes a mistake. This amazing truth has gotten me through quite a bit of things. This we shared with our people as officers and we share with our friends today.

Another truth that Paula and I have learned came from our counselor. I will leave you with that. He said, "When God's will pulls me in a direction of difficulty, my prayer to God is simply, 'Your will, Your peace.'" My friends who are reading, if you find yourself struggling within His will, ask for His peace.

Wayne @ 10:34 AM v Comments (0) v

Peanut Butter

Those who really know me are aware that I am extremely picky about what I eat. I only get burgers plain with cheese only. I don't like cooked veggies save mashed potatoes and corn on the cob. I don't like any candy or ice cream with nuts in them.

My friend, Chad, constantly bombards me with harassment because I hate mustard. For the record, I feel that mustard is equal to sour milk mixed with rotten eggs. I think that is a normal dislike.

I found out tonight that my friend, Desmond, doesn't like peanut butter. Now that's not normal. I think spinach is a normal dislike, but not peanut butter.

Now, in learning this odd thing about Des, a thought came to me. How we feel about so many things in life is based simply on disposition or as the British say, "the things we fancy." The only thing that we can hold as a commonality or a steady constant compass to "guide" disposition is the Word of God.

Des, I still like you even though you don't like peanut butter. Look on the bright side, you fancy cheese.

Just thought I would share this little thought. Good night.

Wayne @ 11:29 PM v Comments (0) v

Brokenness

I was listening to my John Sherrill Band cd today and the little speech John gives before he sings "Broken" hit me today. Honestly it hits me everytime that I hear it. I thought I would share it with you. Here is what John says before he sings it:

In my life, I always talk about things like obedience, faithfulness, truth, and authenticity and the desire to live in that holy walk and atmosphere daily, minute by minute, to say worship is more than an event. It’s more than a song, it’s more than that 11-12 hour on Sundays and 6-7 or 7-8 on Wednesdays. It’s a lifestyle that says, "Lord, I desire to be humble before you; I desire to be authentic; I desire to be truthful and real. And I desire to live a life that is holy and just. Let the righteous rejoice, let the sanctified sing hallelujah. I realized that that takes place and happens when my heart is yielded to Him in a posture that says I want to be obedient and I need to be broken, broken over the sin in my life, broken over the sin in our land.

It’s real easy right now to say "God bless america" "God, we want…" "God, we need…" Even our Christian subculture is screaming that from the worship CD’s we create to the Books that we write. Here’s the truth: God has blessed America and it’s time for America to bless God.

I believe all this begins with a word that is not a very comfortable word and that word is brokenness. To be broken before God means that I am at the end of myself and I want to be at the beginning of You. - John Sherrill

Wayne @ 7:40 PM v Comments (0) v

Awakening

Let me first say that when I got up this morning, I had a nasty attitude. I was extremely put out and angered at the idea of going to work. My thoughts danced around the idea that I must be insane to put up with a job that makes me work on Saturday. "I will never get through this day!"

Paula had to be at work at 8:30. I didn’t have to be at work until 9:00. That leaves a half hour to mess around at a place I don’t want to be. I got to work with the intention to have some pop tarts and a soda before I started.

I saw Sheila. She had been out of work for a long time because of having major surgery. I didn’t know exactly what her situation was because it just wasn’t shared with many people. I decided to go over and talk with her for a few minutes to just catch up on things.

I asked her how everything was going. You know, chit chat type stuff. I then asked her actually what type of surgery she had. The main artery that went to her brain was 98% blocked. They actually had to cut out the blocked section and graft the artery back together. She said she felt like a new woman. She told me how much God has blessed her because of what He brought her through.

God woke me up this morning… AFTER I got to work. I could talk about several things that came to mind, but for the sake of time, I will only mention a few. Firstly, I was blessed to know how God blessed a friend of mine. It is always encouraging to hear someone testify that God has been the catalyst for success. Secondly, I was reminded that God still is doing stuff. How dare I forget?

God is bigger than anything that could come my way. He knows all about tomorrow and I don’t need to know. Theoretically, I shouldn’t be concerned about tomorrow, which is part of serving a God that is omniscient, omnipotent, and omnipresent. Obviously that is easier said than done. Nonetheless, God is a revealing God that reveals the truth of Himself in the perfect time, just when we need it most.

I am thankful what God has done for Sheila. In realizing what He has done for her, I realize that He is not finished with me.

Wayne @ 10:25 PM v Comments (0) v

Indigestion

Well, I had my second epidural injection on my lower back yesterday. I felt a little pain this time. Apparently, they didn't give me quite enough sedation. They gave me some more when they realized that I was not totally out. I was stoned for about 4 hours.

I bet you are wondering if joy came in the morning on Monday. Well it depends on what you call joy. Finding joy is a choice that we make. Regardless of circumstance, it is up to us to find joy. That is what God's Word tells us. I can't say that I found joy on Monday morning. I DEFINITELY did NOT find any yesterday. I have to say that was my choice... not the right choice, mind you, but my choice nonetheless.

I did our taxes last night and was so sure we would get a hefty refund. What I found sure was hefty, but definitely not a refund. It is one of those times that I though, "Man, we just can't catch a break!" We had plans this year... maybe next year now.

God, please just... just... be God. Reveal Yourself to us. Please give us a light at the end of the tunnel.

We practiced "Broken" tonight in Worship Team rehearsal. This song is my prayer tonight:

Lord, you know me, You know my thoughts,
You know my motives, You know my heart;
Lord, I know the best of me is but filthy rags compared to Thee;
That's why I want to be...

I wanna be broken, I wanna be spilled out;
I wanna be broken and poured out at Your feet;
I wanna be a sacrifice to give my life as a humble offering;
May my worship be a fragrance unto Thee;
I wanna be broken.

We had Hamburger Helper for dinner. It has given me indigestion something wicked. I have indigestion of the soul too. Anybody have any Zantac?

Wayne @ 11:39 PM v Comments (0) v