Surviving Wayne: January 2005

Lazy

Today has been a lazy day. I didn't roll out of bed until about 11:15ish. Paula didn't make an appearance until about 1:30. I watched episode IV of the Star Wars Saga, which is the original Star Wars Movie. The actual proper title is "A New Hope."

That's a thought... a new hope. Will tomorrow bring one of those? As in the words of a great writer, "though the sorrow may last for the night, joy comes in the morning." Will there be joy for me tomorrow? In what I know from the Word and from the person of Jesus Christ, I think that I have to decide whether or not there will be joy for me tomorrow.

You know, I think that it is much easier to know that than to live it. I am not thrilled about going to work. I only work tomorrow, Friday, and Saturday this week. That is something to look forward to.

Am I being taunted by the greener grass on the other side? Is another job the answer. I'd like to think so. Or will nothing suite me as much as officership?

On my last post, it may have seemed that I was a little harsh toward The Salvation Army. Please do not take it that way. I love The Salvation Army. The Salvation Army is just the church. Jesus calls the church his bride. I just think that the bride gets so focused on herself that she forgets about her bridegroom. The Salvation Army can be taken out and replaced with any church.

Anyway... will joy come in the morning for me? Only God knows now. I will know in the morning. You will know the next time I blog. Good night.

Wayne @ 10:26 PM v Comments (0) v

In between

Well Chad, Jess, and the kids should be home by now. We had a great time with them. I wish so much that they lived closer. I only have a few people in my life that truly know and understand me. Chad is one of those people.

I found myself in a mode of "survival" last night. We had a strategic planning meeting at the corps. It lasted three hours. I didn't want to go. I wanted to spend time with Chad and Jess. They are the ones that have stuck through rough stuff with us. This is my brother and sister. Regardless that we came from different wombs, we are still no less family than if we had come from the same womb.

I found myself at a crossroads. Do I blow off the thing at the corps to spend time with them, my family? Do I sacrifice three hours of time with them to serve my corps? There are +'s and -'s to both.... I think. I chose to go and serve at my corps. I am not convinced that was the best choice. Why, do you ask?

As a corps officer, I let my own family fall to the wayside for the corps. Don't get me wrong, we should be willing to sacrifice for God, but not the Salvation Army. Here is what I mean: again as a corps officer, The Salvation Army allowed me to give 125% to its mission. If you do the math, that leaves a -25% for everything else.

Our society has adopted an over achiever attitude stating give 100+% in your job. That is way off! God has simply given us each 100% of ourselves. As good stewards, we need to divide that up accordingly. Now I will agree that we should not do anything half way. We should do everything we do to the best of our ability as God has given.

So what percentage goes where? I made a horrific error when I put The Salvation Army at 100%. That left 0% for my wife, 0% for friends, and get this: 0% for God. This leads to catastrophe in one's life. I am a testimony to that. Don't get me wrong, I love The Salvation Army. We are taught that certain appointments are due to how well we do or how slack we are. We rate moves, appointments, and officers based on what appointments are received on move day. Officers then, not wanting to be seen as slack, overwork to maintain gradual promotion through the ranks. This is how they rate the success of their career. I say you should rate it by how many people surrendered to Christ.

I can't tell you how to divide yourself. All I can say is divide realistically. About last night for me: I do give a hefty percentage of my time to my corps. If I chose to not attend to spend time with my family from out of town, then that is ok. I will pray over this to find out if I chose in error.

I go back to work tomorrow. God, help me get through the day. My cold has come back with a vengeance. Talk to you later, guys.

Wayne @ 10:52 PM v Comments (0) v

Realization

Learning what is important in life, I believe is imperitive to being happy. From where I stand now, looking back over the past year, 5 years, 10 years, I wish that I would have prioritized things differently. Not so much my schedule or projects, but people. Having been through the things I have been through, I find that I have put the wrong people first.

Just like anybody else, Paula and I have a story. This story is a tragic story. The story is a secret story. I am not goint to tell you the story, but just understand that it is one that is emotional and heart-breaking. I don't know how God sees it. The root of this tragedy is simply that we put the wrong people in the wrong priority. We made some people important and they made it important to bring us down. Uncle Willie didn't help when we asked for it.

Sorry to be somewhat confusing, but it needs to be that way for discretion's sake. You find out that your focus should be directed towards those that love you regardless. Despite my arrogance, selfishness, and quirks, they still make me a priority.

All this to say this: I was able to spend time with them today. I will be able to spend time with them tomorrow.

Please find those people in your life... never let them go.

Wayne @ 10:43 PM v Comments (0) v

Excitement

Des is da bomb! I am so excited about the people I get to work alongside here in Charlotte. Let my tell you why. I am so stoked that I have the opportunity to be part of a praise band with as much talent as those in our band. I am also amazed at the dedication of those people. Having planned to be absent from church on Sunday, I was going to be reliant on other in the Worship Team to "keep everybody focused." We have only been a group for a few months now and already there is ownership and dedication to the point that in my adsence, organization does not fall apart. If you know me, you know that I am so organized that I am anal about it.

On top of that, I passed out a list of songs that I wanted arranged (I was attempting to clear my plate a bit and others a chance to show their musical creativity.). That was Wednesday. It is Monday and Des has already gotten me a song fully arranged. That is so awesome!

On top of that, Christina and Daniel took care of leading the Young Adult Bible Study last night. What great people! Willing to fill in when needed. God has blessed us with so many good friends here. We came here is pure emotional turmoil, unsure of the future or what God had for us here. We have found that God gave us these people.

Chad, Jess, and the kids will be here in about an hour. I am excited. Have a good evening.

Wayne @ 11:14 PM v Comments (0) v

Day of Rest

Well we are still under the weather. We didn't plan on going to church today because of being sick. Staci and Johnny ended up canceling church so it wasn't a big thing.

Chad, Jess, and the kids will be here tomorrow. We cleaned house today in prep for that. Not a lot to talk about tonight.

Wayne @ 10:02 PM v Comments (0) v

Never win with arrogance!

Last night, before we went to sleep, Paula and I prayed about being ill. Both of us sound like we have had our nostrils sewn shut and have been smoking for 85 years. I find myself questioning... well myself. Why did I pray for that specifically?

Well duh! I wanted both of us to feel better. I specifically prayed that we would have a restful night. God chose to answer that prayer is a different fashion than I would have liked. As I readied myself for work this morning I thought, "Why didn't He answer my prayer?"

Can I be anymore arrogant? What is the reason I am sick? I haven't a clue. I really hope God does make some sort of revelation to me soon.

Back to my arrogance. What about me demands that my prayers are answered the way and in the time of my plan? I hate being sick. AAARRRGGG!!! My nose is raw, my chest is cloudy, and my head feels like it is going to explode!

I lost the battle to arrogance today, but through Christ, I.... no.... we will win the war.

Wayne @ 11:11 PM v Comments (0) v

My first time...

Well here goes... my first official blog. What a day to start when I feel like royal scum. I am torn between enjoying not being at work and wishing I felt better. I haven't been to work since Monday. I will be out three days next week when Chad, Jess, and the kids are in.

I really need a new job. I need something that is not emotionally draining and not so... well... negative. PAY YOUR BILLS, PEOPLE! What is so bad about my job you ask? Well try wanting to help people be responsible about their cell phone bills. Wanting to avoid allowing them to grow such a large balance that they can't pay it and my "corporate sponsor" has to just write it off. Such a lose-lose situation.

God is good. There is something up His sleeve. Whay, praytell, is it? Hopefully we all will find out soon.

Wayne @ 4:34 PM v Comments (0) v