A Gift Amidst The Sorrow
We just got done eating burgers, hotdogs, and cheese fries with Katrina, Stephen, and JJ at our place. Brandy, in Paula'a lap, began to have a seizure. It lasted about 30 minutes. It appeared that she was trying to turn her head completely around. Her eyes were bulging. Paula just held her tight and kept reassuring her that she was going to be alright.
Phileo was scared to see her act like this. He wanted to be near her. He was concerned. From what we have been told about this type of seizure, she felt like her brain was spinning inside of her head.
After about 30 minutes, she seemed to have come out of it, except she acted like she was blind. We would call her and she would try to find you by following your voice. Finally after about another 15 minutes, she seemed to be back to normal.
Our concern is if we were at work and this happened, she would probably hurt herself very badly. We had talked off and on in the past about putting her to sleep. She had a bad trachea, terrible arthritis, aging warts, signs of going blind, signs of going deaf, and now these seizures. She even lost her bladder a couple times over the past few weeks.
Paula told me that I would have to be the one to call to find out about it. I did. I got pricing and after care options. Between the four of us, we thought the best decision would be to put her down.
Paula gave her a "Beggin Strip" before Stephen and I took her. She wanted her to have her favorite food before... well you know. I cried as I watched her enjoy that treat. Through tears, Paula asked me to hold her. Paula didn't want her to die alone.
I found myself going less than the speed limit on 485. I kept wanting to turn the car around. I kept asking Stephen if he was sure we were doing the right thing. Of course, he assured me we were making the right decision.
It has been said that two very precious gifts someone can experience is being there when someone comes into the world and holding their hand as they leave it. I wasn't able to see Brandy come into the world, but I held her tight as she left it. I held her, cried into her fur, and kept telling her that I loved her.
"She's gone." the doctor said.
I kept holding her, petting her like I had so many times before.
It is a few days later. Paula and I know we did the right thing. We are worried about Phileo. He has been really down since Stephen and I came back through the door without Brandy. I am not sure what he understands, but we are making sure we give him tons of attention and love.
Thanks, everyone, for your prayers for Paula and me.
We will survive.
Wayne
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12:53 PM
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